MeLikeyButtercup

ppgworld

2009-08-12T02:42:25Z

You probably remember it as well as I do. It was my first and only experience with joining an online community. Although you, reader, and I have grown and changed so much since then, I am sure we both think back on our times there and can remember them fondly.

How many evenings did we spend together in that chatroom? At the time, it all seemed so important, didn't it? These days it seems hard to believe that I was in that chatroom so often instead of, you know, actually doing things. But I loved it. Even when I didn't love it, I was there anyway. It was like some sort of crazy addiction.

I've spent the last half hour or so typing out favorite memories of us, the things we did, but you know what? I deleted that. I don't have to write them here, because you remember it all too. They're our memories. We are like those guys in Band of Brothers. Except instead of shooting Nazis, we debated ppgorn. That is a joke because this entry is stupid and melodramatic and I feel like a faggot. But seriously, thanks for being there; it meant a lot to me at the time, and continues to mean something to me in my daily life now.

works every time

2009-05-12T05:56:32Z

two 40s of colt 45 combined with two old episodes of buffy the vampire slayer on hulu.com will make you take a little nap

you will wake up five hours later and feel funky

also you will pee three times during the buffy

i wrote a joke

2009-04-26T20:21:10Z

Bob goes over to his friend Jim's house for a drink and Bob says "I tell you Jim, my wife is a whore and she's cheating on me."

"Oh no" Jim says.

"I do think that, I really do," Bob says. "About a month ago I first started to suspect. I got home from work and her hair was all mussed up, and her shirt was half unbuttoned. There wasn't anybody else in the house so the guy must have gone out the back door when he heard my car in the driveway, is what I figure."

"Shit" Jim says.

"Then, the day after that, pretty much the same thing happens! I come home from work and my wife is all sweaty and it looks like she's been screwing around! I didn't catch her in the act though so I still had no proof, you see?"

"Right" Jim says.

Bob continues, "So then I figured what I'd do is, I'd get this dog and I'd train it to recognize the smell of my wife's pussy, right? Let it sniff all her underwear until it was good and trained and then if it smelled that smell on anybody but her or me the dog would just go nuts and start biting everything and just really make an insane spectacle of itself so I would be sure that it was the guy who was fucking my wife."

"Uh huh" Jim says.

"Just really go insane and start ripping balls off, is what it would do. I trained it to do that."

"Mmm" Jim says.

"So I bought this dog and trained him and finally he was ready and I took that dog all over town. I took it to her work, to my work, to the grocery store, let it sniff the pool boy and the gardener. It must have sniffed a thousand dicks, this dog. Never caught the scent of my wife's pussy."

"Oh" Jim says.

"So Jim," Bob says, "I brought my dog over here tonight, I don't suppose you'd let him take a whiff of your crotch, would you? You wouldn't mind? Just to alleviate any suspicion."

"I guess that'll be fine" Jim says.

Bob goes out to his car and that dog is right there in the backseat. And Bob brings that dog right into Jim's house and marches him up to Jim and that dog takes a big sniff of Jim's peen and sure enough, nothing happens, the dog is just as cool as a cucumber.

"How about that Jim," Bob says, "Not that I suspected you but goddam, I still haven't found who's fucking my wife and you were the last person I thought to check. Did I buy this dog for nothing? I'm never going to solve this mystery."

Jim says, "You think that's bad, my wife has breast cancer."

TIME FOR DIRTY HAIKUS

2009-02-02T09:19:43Z

Leaves, falling like rice
At the wedding my soul weeps
Unity of DICK

Never more to fly
The bird makes its last CUNT FACE
Nature, harsh mistress

FUCK FUCK ASS BITCH SHIT
subtle harmony PISS COCK
SLAM YOUR FUCKIN TIT

coolio_jackson @ 2008-05-21T18:06:00

2008-05-21T23:11:00Z

What if people and dinosaurs shared the earth?

You'd be driving to work. Then all of a sudden, there's a tyrannosaurus. In the road. You'd be like, "Get out of the road, asshole!" And he'd give you the finger. You'd get super pissed off. There'd probably be some dinosaur racial slurs. "Move it, scaleface!" "I'm gonna meteor you!"

Then he'd bite your engine. He doesn't give a fuck, he's like four hundred feet tall.

You'd be like, "Thanks, two-finger. Now I gotta ride the triceratops to work. I'll probably have to sit next to the weird homeless guy on the triceratops."

It'd be weird.

coolio_jackson @ 2006-11-20T12:59:00

2006-11-20T17:59:14Z

Let's talk about memes for a minute.

A meme is an idea that replicates itself like a gene - basically, any idea that was in one consciousness and then appears in another consciousness. Example: Picture an elephant riding a unicycle. There, a meme from my consciousness was just replicated into your consciousness.

If memes replicate, this suggests to me that a meme has an associated physical structure, whether atomic or subatomic, much like a DNA strand replicating has physical structure. This structure must be "read" and interpreted in order for you to mentally picture the elephant on the unicycle. So the elephant unicycle meme must have a series of quarks that form the physical representation of that meme. This quark series was in my brain, and now is in your brain, although your brain's is an imperfect copy of mine because we most likely have different ideas of what elephants and unicycles look like.

There is an experiment where a flatworm A is taught to run a maze. Flatworm A is then ground up and fed to flatworm B, who has never before seen the maze. After eating flatworm A, flatworm B can run the maze flawlessly. This is further evidence that a meme has physical structure. Whatever bit of protein in flatworm A's nervous system that contained the maze meme was probably absorbed as nutrition and used in flatworm B's nervous system. This is quick-and-dirty meme replication, probably not even technically "replication" because it is the *same* meme. Flatworm A created this meme, and then it was directly applied into flatworm B.

Most memes don't replicate like this. In animals, memes must be replicated through demonstration and observation. Another experiment has octopus A and octopus B in separate aquariums within viewing distance of each other. Octopus A knows how to open a pickle jar and octopus B does not. After watching octopus A open a pickle jar, octopus B can then open a pickle jar. This is only one example, but trust me, it happens all the time. A bee that "dances" in order to tell other bees where the flowers with the best nectar are is another example.

The best way to spread memes is through direct communication, and the best method of communication is language. This is why memes spread so easily in humans. In my opinion, the human nervous system evolved to be as complex as it is solely in order to process and maintain memes. Probably, the 90% of the brain that shows up inactive in brainscans is just cold storage for memes. Picture a scan of a computer; only a certain percentage of it is ever actually *doing* anything - the RAM, right? The rest is just memory.

Okay. How can memes replicate without physical contact? How can a series of quarks in my brain be replicated in your brain if the quarks technically are not influencing each other at all?

It seems to me that memes must be quantum in nature. Newtonian physics doesn't really explain how matter can influence other matter without direct contact. Quantum physics might. I don't know a lot about quantum physics, and what I do know is very bizarre. It seems consciousness itself is based on quantum physics - free will as a direct result of the uncertainty principle, otherwise everything would run like clockwork all the time and we'd all be mindless robots.

Someone smart should do some research, or something.

coolio_jackson @ 2006-09-19T11:45:00

2006-09-19T16:47:21Z

Can we do something about the seasons, please? Let's all get together and create some sort of massive orbit-stabilization device with lots of rocket boosters and nuclear fusion and all that crap. We'll have spring, all the time. Come on, scientists.

(does not apply to southern hemisphere)

coolio_jackson @ 2006-03-22T12:14:00

2006-03-22T18:18:12Z

I find it weird that even though I don't believe in an afterlife, or truly believe in karma or anything like that, I still feel this immense pressure to be good for some reason. Christianity gets so all up in your psyche from your training as a little kid that it's ridiculously hard to escape its consequences. It sort of reminds me of Crime and Punishment: is it truly the mark of a strong man that he can ignore his own innate morality?

coolio_jackson @ 2005-08-30T15:30:00

2005-08-30T20:34:11Z

you know my problem with legos?

these days, you get lego kits to build everything under the sun. star wars vehicles, pirate ships, king arthur, meth labs, whatever. but each of these kits only allows you to build one (1) thing apiece.

remember the old days when we used to get just buckets of legos? you had the freedom to build anything, even though we mostly just built guns or cars or whatever. but, the option was there.

so legos, which were intended to stimulate creativity, now *limit* creativity.

coolio_jackson @ 2005-01-26T16:46:00

2005-01-26T22:51:46Z

do you remember that Snickers commercial from like five years ago, where it's in this office, and this guy has a picture of a panda bear, and he's like "I'm so pretty. I'm so pretty, watch this: Pretty pretty dancing! Pretty pretty dancing!"

that was the greatest commercial ever.

coolio_jackson @ 2004-12-03T13:34:00

2004-12-03T19:37:24Z

did I ever say how good life is?

because it is, pretty much.

coolio_jackson @ 2004-07-27T17:14:00

2004-07-27T22:26:58Z

e equals fucking mc squared.

if I multiplied your m by c and squared it, do you have ANY IDEA how much e you would fucking produce? A SHIT TON.

A SPOONFUL OF YOU COULD POWER NEW YORK CITY FOR HOURS

coolio_jackson @ 2004-06-21T14:59:00

2004-06-21T20:06:54Z

don't drink and drive

okay do

coolio_jackson @ 2004-04-12T14:59:00

2004-04-12T20:04:25Z

why I didn't even think of searching google shows you exactly the level of drugs I am taking at this point.

seriously though thank you fellas. wrote down a couple of mirrors that I, too, found after a few minutes of searching. interestingly a few days ago I had a dream that a few of the longer stories from leisuretown were made into animated features and compiled on a DVD, pretty cool eh, well anyway another thing that I (and presumably you too) found on google was an email to a guy who had a leisuretown mirror that makes one think that, contrary to what t. farnon always said/wrote, leisuretown will be published one day... it explains taking down the site at least.

thanks again, I'll shoot you people some extremely short phone-composed e-mails when I get a few minutes to myself, bye

coolio_jackson @ 2004-03-25T17:15:00

2004-03-25T23:29:00Z

hello. mlb here. I am updating from the eau claire public library again. one thing I don't want is to keep popping up every couple of months so if this disturbs you I apologize.

how are you doing? I hope you are well.

the reason I find it necessary to post is a selfish one; specifically, it's about leisuretown ( http://www.leisuretown.com ). well pals, I've been recommending the site to people ever since I went cold-turkey off the internet (and tv, interestingly) about nine months ago. in any case I really did believe it was one of the only worthwhile things to do on the internet besides play hearts with bastards from IRC you've never met.

someone I recommended it to actually visited the site, and found it shut down. I verified this a few minutes ago. I am sorry I don't have a whole hell of a lot of time to gather email addresses, or even get on the chat room, what with the restrictions placed on computer usage here at the library. but what I would like is this: if anyone could find a mirror site, or could get any kind of information regarding the shutdown and any possible future resurrection of the site, that would be cool.

as I don't have a computer I don't really have an email address, although if I have somebody else's email address I can send them emails of up to 120 characters from my cel phone, which can also be replied to in emails of up to 120 characters. so if you think you can get any kind of info regarding leisuretown, please please please reply to this posting with your current email address and next time I come to the library I will get in contact with you. I really, honestly appreciate any effort on any of your parts. I'd do it for you if I had a computer!!!!!!!!

oh and by the way DOA: Xtreme beach volleyball is the shit, SO THERE LBG, NYAH.

coolio_jackson @ 2003-08-26T16:39:00

2003-08-26T21:40:39Z

hello. I am updating this from the eau claire public library. it does not look like I will be getting the internet ever. I also do not own a telephone. but life is peachy.

if you would like to send me a letter or something

1122 1/2 omaha st.
eau claire, WI 54703

coolio_jackson @ 2003-05-14T00:46:00

2003-05-14T05:49:08Z

moving out on thursday to the new apartment.

I don't know when I'll be getting internet access, could be a while, just to let you know.

coolio_jackson @ 2003-05-08T03:53:00

2003-05-08T08:56:01Z

some people keep lists of books they have read! chronologically!

ugh!

bye for awhile

2003-04-26T13:50:29Z

I should've reformatted and reinstalled windows a long time ago, when the first major bugs started appearing. but nope, in my ongoing quest to get EMS working on a win98 machine, I somehow forgot to replace my HIMEM.SYS file after goddo's latest attempt at his benevolent computer voodoo.

then, playing the Master of Orion 1 beta ("star lords"), I received a strange error message - but not only that, there was a goddam CHECK BOX that said "ENABLE EMS" fucking NEXT TO IT. so I checked the bastard. all my retro game problems are solved, right?

wrong. windows crashes. and gets stuck in a vicious loop - my computer reboots, the BIOS gives me some fucked-up shit about EMS being enabled now, and then the computer just goes right into Star Lords. do not pass go, do not collect $200, do not start windows 98. if I reboot, CTRL-ALT-DEL, exit Star Lords, what happens? same thing: fucked up BIOS, then Star Lords 24-7.

but hey, that's what running setup is for, right? nope, nothing helpful there. restoring default and optimal settings made NO DIFFERENCE for some reason. okay, no problem. start 'er in safe mode, go in, fix mr. computey and we're good. what's that? I can't get into safe mode, because a required file (HIMEM.SYS) is missing? fuck me. FUCK ME. hey, wait. I stick in the old boot disk and I can still get to DOS. remember DOS? DOS was going to save me. DOS was my ace in the hole.

*BZZZZZZT* wrong! you can't do SHIT in dos. whether that's because windows98 is gay, or because it's a problem unique to my computer and its fucked up system data, DOS is about as useful as a quadraplegic in an ass-kicking competetion. I can't open SHIT. not SHIT. I typed SHIT just to see if I could open SHIT but DOS DID NOT RUN SHIT.

the kicker? I DOS my way to starlords.exe. starlords was what it wanted, fuck it, I'll give it motherfucking starlords. OH WAIT. IT CAN'T EVEN RUN STARLORDS NOW. BECAUSE MY COMPUTER IS SUDDENLY UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT IT HAS 16K OF RAM. NOT 64 MEGABYTES, 16 FUCKING KILOBYTES. SORRY MR. MLB, YOU NEED TO CONFIGURE MORE RAM! THANKS SO MUCH - MR. DICKFACE COMPUTER.

fuck it! reformatted. so fucking mad. I don't care. there went my britney spears wallpaper collection, everything I've ever written (including my unfinished novel), my cool indie mp3s that I'll NEVER GET BACK because half of them were from SITES THAT NO LONGER EXIST by BANDS THAT BROKE UP TWO YEARS AGO.

did I already use the phrase "here's the kicker"? if I did, watch out, because it's COMING BACK WITH A VENGEANCE.

HERE'S THE MOTHERFUCKING KICKER. I go to reinstall windows right? right? I need the product key. no problem. uhm, I seem to have misplaced my windows98 manual thing with the product key on it. okay, if it's not here at the dorm, the only place it could POSSIBLY be is back at my old house in my old room at my old computer desk. ring-ring-ring, hello ms. renter lady, this is the old resident mr. mlb, can you plz check my old comp desk for this manual kthx. oh, you can't find it. you whore. look in the goddam closets. go through ALL MY SHIT. FIND IT NOW. waaahhh she can't! it's gone! my product key is no longer in physical existence! why? because the fucking RENTERS BEFORE HER fucking THREW AWAY fucking ALL MY fucking SHIT FROM MY fucking ROOM. my computer is now a PAPERWEIGHT because I can't even get past the fucking WINDOWS INSTALLATION SCREEN.

if you just skipped down to read the last paragraph and see if there was any wisdom contained therein, there isn't. just one really pissed off dude named MLB, updating his LJ from his roommate's computer saying, "sorry I fucked up my shit, I will be without computer/online access indefinitely starting right about NOW."

coolio_jackson @ 2003-04-19T07:26:00

2003-04-19T12:31:54Z

yeah, Dead or Alive: Xtreme Beach Volleyball, definitely on my buy list. taters. it's just graphically stunning. nips. the character models are the best I've seen on a console. boobs. I hear it's got a pretty wide variety of minigames, so the replay shouldn't be too bad. sweaterpuppies. plus I need to build up my xbox library since all I have is halo.

I still need (bazongas) to pick up Buffy the Vampire Slayer, as well.

coolio_jackson @ 2003-04-01T05:27:00

2003-04-01T11:37:21Z

I kind of wonder why I find philosophy so boring. I mean I want to be all excited about it. certainly I try to understand things as well as I can, and I agree that introspection and metacognition are great ways to arrive at a greater understanding of things.

but then why do most people's writings about their philosophy just wind up to be fucking boring? sure I've read socrates and descartes and whatnot, they're fucking boring, and I've read neo-philosophers spouting their neo-philosophy and they're fucking boring too. I mean I can handle everything up to a point, but usually it just gets needlessly complicated or whatever. there's always a point where the author says "But this, too, is a difficult question despite its simple nature" for the SEVENTH GODDAM TIME that I just lose interest and think about flowers or something. and what is it that philosophers can't take a solid stance on anything? just because no idea is completely defensible, that's no reason not to take a concrete stance on anything.

so it's not that I don't see the point in philosophy, I just think that everyone is doing it all wrong.

coolio_jackson @ 2003-03-30T19:08:00

2003-03-31T01:12:23Z

so I heard the new radiohead record, and it sounds like the final mastered version contrary to a lot of peoples' suspicions.

you probably don't want to hear my blathering but I'd say it's no kid a or amnesiac, but a step above ok computer. I'm glad they did "myxomatosis" right on the record version, you can hear phil's godliness a lot better than the live versions, and the record version of "wolf at the door" is also much better than the ones from the last tour.

so yeah.

coolio_jackson @ 2003-03-24T03:00:00

2003-03-24T09:02:07Z

anyone seen mulholland drive?

it's pretty good.

coolio_jackson @ 2003-03-03T02:29:00

2003-03-03T08:32:14Z

from http://www.greenplastic.com

"Radiohead and Sigur Ros are planning to merge their ambitious musical aesthetics to collaborate on a score for a new piece by the Merce Cunningham Dance Company scheduled to premiere in October at the Brooklyn Academy of Music. Meanwhile, a DVD of videos done for Sigur Ros' music, including the short film "Untitled #1," directed by Floria Sigismondi and premiered at the recent Sundance Film Festival, will be released in the spring."

COMMENCING AUTOEROTIC ASPHYXIATION

coolio_jackson @ 2003-02-26T07:09:00

2003-02-26T13:14:50Z

MEOW MEOW FOUL PLAY MEOW

http://www.ratemykitten.com/?kitten=23040

MEOW MEOW MURDER MEOW